To Do List

The list of things I SHOULD or would like to do with all of my "spare" time:

* Finish the prototype of my gift of the season that I told myself I could easily make for multiple people by Christmas since I started in early October.
*Make or buy and send out invitations for my daughters birthday party that is now less than three weeks away.
*Make a workout plan I can actually stick to.  (I had a 100 miles I planned on doing by tomorrow, I started in September...I think I've logged about 20, come to think of it I'm not sure where that check off sheet is.
*Take this bag of donations to the goodwill before it sits in my living room for another month.
*Actually enforce my "Clean your room today or..." threats
*Clean!  Beyond the daily messes and laundry this place needs some scrubbing.

 I'm sick of my own list, I think it's time to go to bed.

Learn how to spell should be on this list too! 

A few things I've learned about me lately...

For a person who REALLY likes their quiet time (especially first thing in the morning), quiet gets old pretty quick!  Just so you know, I'm really not kidding here, I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do before I have had at least an hour to myself in the morning,  (this time can be cut in half with a cup of coffee)  consider yourself warned.

The blog, facebook, pintrest, twitter world(s) have sucked me in lately - BIG TIME, and I'm finding that to be both positive and negative.  Remember just because you are expecting someone to call you, text you, or stop by doesn't mean that they don't have another life too, so put on your big girl panties and don't be jealous of the Internet.  Not that I'm speaking from experience here at all.

Simple rules of one size does NOT fit all.  Try a look on before you get attached to it, just because that super cute girl on that amazing blog looks really great in that knit pancho/jeggings and boots get up it doesn't mean you will.  This sounds pretty stinking negative until you realize the same cute girl REALLY.LOVES the way you look and "fill" out that dress you wore.  Love what you have, and if you don't try to improve it to make yourself feel better not to look like her. 

Pretty sure there are a lot of other really great pieces of advice I have for myself and the occasional random computer that stops here, but for now I gotta go. 

Jumbled Advice to myself

Life right now

is like sitting down with the bucket of puzzle pieces

you sort them out

"knowing" you have the right pieces you are ready to start

with only a few pieces to go you knock over the bucket of extras

you can get mad, sad, angy or impatient

or you can sift thru the pieces and find a few extra pieces you were missing before

Random

Titles - sometimes they are hard!  So random....yep, cause that's what this post is going to be.

#1 - Today's weight in....yep, that lovely scale still says 163.4.  No, I don't want to talk about it.  Yes, I have made my own reservation for a padded room with a nice view. :)

#2 - I have a few random posts floating around in my head, and on post-its on my desk that I need to get to writing.

#3 - I've seen a little bit of traffic on my stats page, and still no one wants to follow me....hmmmm, maybe I should write more posts.

#4 - I need a good word for random, preferably one that would start with an M, T, W or F so it could be a title for small posts on a certain day of the week.  Any ideas?

#5 - Having thin, fine hair in Minnesota summer is NOT a good thing.  Just wait til winter, I'll complain about it then too. 

#6 - The bloggy world keeps sucking me in furtherr and further, I really need to figure out how to make money reading and writing blogs all day! 

# 7 Happy 4th of July Weekend!  I hope everyone enjoys their long weekend, and takes some time to remember what this is all about.  Thank you to all of our service men and women for continuing to fight for our freedom.  Unless you know me personally, you wouldn't know that I was a wanna be solider that turned into a broken solider and was sent home.  At the time I was also an Early Childhood Teacher and I had a struggle one day with seeing myself in uniform and carrying a weapon until I got a dose of perspective from the Chaplin.  He told me, "PVT. Lewis, all you need to remember is that you aren't a scary person to these children you are the person who is serving so that they can grow up in a free country".  That was a life changing comment for me, I had never thought about what it would be like to live in a country where children would not have freedom. 

Moments...

All weight loss work and talk make Tiffany a VERY. DULL girl!  (note to self:  It kinda stresses me out which doesn't help the process  mmmm  kkkkk?  love, me)  Sometimes you just have to stop, live in the moment - hmmmm - that sounds a lot like Just BEing, doesn't it!??? 

A few moments I've loved from the last few days:

*Walking into my daughters room last night watching her sleep for a moment and kissing her precious beautiful cheek.  In those brief moments I was taken back 5 1/2 years to hovering over my brand new tiny baby girl....and my heart swelled. 

* Flipping through old pictures on the computer and looking at my kids as "babies", and taking a moment to stop and realize how quick they are changing!  This also reminded me how neglected my camera is these days!

* Looking in that same folder, I saw some old pictures of me and thought....we've come a long way baby!  (Yes, I often talk to myself in 3rd person.  Yes, my mother taught me better and hates that I do it.)

* I had a few of "those" days and I was in a funk and then a smile, a hug and a twinkle in an eye made me remember that even when it's hard, it's worth it!

* I finished a big project at work, and people recognized and said thank you!  That's always nice.

Goals

Maybe just maybe I need to set a new goal....yeah, that's it my body isn't moving because it thinks we are there! (Oh how I love my delusional world sometimes)  So here it is:

Next stop for this train....155!! 

Weird goal huh?  It's less than 9 pounds away, and still technically "over weight" according to the government - don't get me started on that!  I set my goals based on memories of what I weighed and when.  I'm not sure that it's the best way, but I do know this is what works for me. Actually when I stop and think about it I know that this 163ish looks a whole lot better and it's a lot healthier than the last time I was here!  I CAN'T. WAIT to see what 155 looks like!

How do you set your goals? 

Things I need to learn....

* How to truly be comfortable with putting myself out there.  You can't really complain about no followers when you don't let anyone know you even have a blog.  Welcome if you are a friend who is new because I fessed up to you in an email today....  HI!  Thanks for stopping by!

* How to be a better team captain for my 3 day team! - I'm sucking it up big time!

* How to let go of planning my weight loss and being disappointed when my body doesn't agree with me.

* How to do more and think less!

* How to make me time, and not just dream about it. 

* To just breathe!

*That there is a whole lot more to learn in life.

OH, and can someone tell me how to put pictures on here and or how to "participate" in things like What I'm loving Wednesday.....  hello.....anyone?

Where do I go?

Down 0.3 this week....ask me how I feel about that and well, I'm not sure.  I feel like a jumbled up bag of questions and emotions right now in regards to my journey.  I think I need to make some changes, I'm just not sure what to try first.

 I am coming close to the end of my paid time on WW Online, and I'm just not sure about that either.  Do I continue on this program and take it month to month from here?  Do I go back to counting calories?  I'm just not sure!  I feel like the program has helped, but at the same time I also feel like I trust myself more now.  I know what I want to eat (more good stuff now than before), how much I should eat, and also how I will feel after eating it.  I'm a pizza girl - I LOVE PIZZA!  That being said, I don't love how I feel after I eat delivery pizza, and last night I figured out I could make very good pizza on Flat Out and leftovers in the fridge and I didn't feel like junk after eating it. 

Exercise - now this is an area that needs some spice, some revamping, some excitement.  To be totally honest, this week stunk in the workout department.  I didn't walk or jog  at all, I did do stairs one night and some very light cardio/lifting two nights - but it fizzled for me - I need something to look forward to.  Any suggestions?

After a week of not posting, I've got a few posts floating around in my head, I just need to find the time to sort my thoughts and type them out.  Happy Friday!

Holding myself accountable.

I've said it before and I'll say it again my obsession with being a blog "stalker" led me to opening this one.  In the time that this blog has been active (a little over a month) I have realized that the questions that I mulled over before starting the blog are still there...

*What direction do I take this in?   - Daily life,  - Weight Loss, - Foodie,  - Baking,  - Mommy stuff  - A combo?
* What if no one reads it....(hello, are you out there?....yep, pretty sure that ones a given, no followers  :)
* What level of censoring do I need to use....ya know, just in case?
* Do I want to "out" myself to real life friends that I follow?  Do I want to "out" myself by changing my following of other blogs so they lead to this site?

I guess all in all this experience is teaching me that I still have some growing to do.  I've been pretty proud of myself (dare I say that) in the past few years, I feel that I have grown beyond caring what other people think of me all the time, but obviously I still have some work to do.  So here I go, less censoring and more me coming soon to my posts! 

Funk Friday.... or should that be Fantastic?

OK, so maybe that's not the best title for a post, or the best positive way to look at your day.......  BUT....it's the truth, it's honest and I can admit it - I'm in a funk.  Not really sure "why", there isn't a clear explanation - I. JUST. AM.  I could go on and on about the fact that I have no followers, and haven't posted in two in a half weeks, and I could give a thousand reasons, but I won't.  Actually, now that I've blogged about it and admitted it to myself and anyone who may read this at some point, well that alone just made me feel better. 

So lets flip to the fantastic -
*The work day is half over!
* The weekend is almost here.
*The normal mind numbing chatter around here seems to have settled down!
*A loss, is a loss no matter how small  - right!?!?
* Even when I feel like I'm not being fantastic, deep down I know I'm doing my best and that's something!
*A co-worker told me they appreciated me today....that's a pretty darn good feeling!

Hope you can find the fantastic in your funk!